Well, the funniest thing that I’ve read recently was 1 Samuel 13:13 (discussed here):
καὶ εἶπεν Σαμουηλ πρὸς Σαουλ Μεματαίωταί σοι
Which comes out relatively close to something like:
And Samuel said, ‘That was a really stupid move you’ve just made.’
And Samuel said, ‘Wow, Saul, you really blew it this time.’
Or what about:
And Samuel said, ‘Way to go, Einstein. You’ve just lost your crown.’
Now I don’t think Samuel’s words are really that overblown, but imagining is half the fun!